Wednesdays


C: I forgot my cell at home again 😦

A: You know it is good that you forget your phone. Shows that you are not attached to your phone unlike me. I feel like my day does not start unless I peer the world through my phone. It is my family, my friend, and my love. It is unfortunate that my life has become dependent upon this instrument that has no life. 

How do you guys keep yourself motivated in life? To achieve things, to accomplish tasks, to reach a career milestone…. I keep on getting stuck at the larger question about life… like what is the purpose of my life? I am not sure what I am trying to accomplish by obtaining this degree with thousands of dollars of loans… I think about family… but family are just people… They do not need me or do I need them to survive… I think about people who are hungry or sick or are dying… I think about my capacity to help… I realize that I do not have any capacity to help them. I need help myself. The world is going to remain unjust and inequitable no matter what you and I will do. So what makes you guys keep looking forward? I have to convince myself every single day of my purpose to get out of bed, to eat, to shower, to open my computer and respond to email, to engage with friends and people, to read and learn… back of my head never stops asking this question… but, why??? 

Please share me your secret for motivation. I want to be motivated. 

C: A, I struggle with that as well. But this should be a Skype conversation coz I feel like I get up then I fall back further than I was. I am lost in my own thoughts that I just stop altogether. I need someone to push I need support but I am not sure where I can get that kind of support. Maybe I need a life coach…#richpeopleproblems

A: #richpeopleproblem

That hashtag is spot on!

I have my tummy full and I can afford a comfortable bed. Now my mind can think of life and purpose. If I was hungry or homeless, there would be no time to think about the purpose of life… 

C: Hahaha. I feel ya. I am so lost for myself I feel like I should know what I want in life but I still dunno… 

S: If we think about it, we have our tummy full and can afford a comfortable bed that’s why we are able to think beyond fulfilling our basic needs and ponder over larger questions. If we were hungry and homeless, we’d be tied to getting basic needs. So, in a way we are adding a stone to the ever expanding wall of human curiosity. There are lots of people who have their basic needs but do not bother to think more. 🙂

A: My question remains unanswered….

What keeps you guys motivated to keep on looking forward and working hard?

S: Also, the motivation to wake up today and come to work is – today is Wednesday. I love Wednesday. Sometimes I coerce myself to love the particular day because today is all I have. But, I still hate Tuesday. Sometimes the day just goes by. I work hard to pay bills, I pay bills to work hard. And on and on.

Oftentimes, motivation fails miserably and there’s suffocation, anxiety, even depression ( i don’t know the clinical requirement for depression). In those times, I either talk to you guys, or treat myself with good food, or just wait for the day to pass by. Life is full of possibilities. Sometimes, I make a fake plan of traveling alone to mustang, rara lake.

Today, I’m going to Indian store and buy some spices and vegetables and cook. That’s what I’m looking forward to today. (Sorry for incoherent rambling)

C: S, shouldn’t we be aspiring for more though? If not then we’d be complacent. In short, I am asking what’s the distinction between wanting to better yourself and being greedy by wanting more?

S: Yes, it’s not that I’m ignoring to aspire more. But, oftentimes finding happiness on trivial, even silly, daily occurrences give me the small burst of energy to keep going. If I focus only on the big aspirations then I’d be dragging myself. Big aspiration needs the small dose of single steps. 

The distinction, I think, is wanting to better yourself has equal concern over the return and the learning process while being greedy by wanting more is overly concerned about the result. 

C: When did you become so smart… And why haven’t you shared this before?

S: Today I’m in a good mood. Yesterday, I had few anxiety attacks. Because, you know, yesterday was Tuesday.

A: hmm… 

Have I become greedy then? 

S: Yes, you have become greedy. We all are greedy. 

[Later that day, A saw this:  

 What might he be thinking about?]

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1 Comment

  1. He is probably thinking where his next meal would come from, or where he will put his head down to rest #bestcasescenario.
    Where his next shot of whatever keeps him from thinking about his problems will come from#worstcasescenario.

    Like

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